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Brenda

TRANSEXUALS AND DEPRESSION

ost of the depression we suffer, as transsexuals, is at the hands and mouths of others. This is my opinion, whether you wish to agree or not is up to you. That is the first thing we all have to learn in society; we are all different. If somebody threatened to murder you or harm you they can’t do that, but there are those out there who do have these opinions and they use these on anyone who they feel are different from “NORMAL”.

What does this word mean? Its definition can’t be used in human terms, for as already mentioned, we are all different.

So why do people want to change the way I feel about myself and the many thousands of people like me? Are they frightened I will change their life; make them feel inferior, give them some sickness or some other far fetched idea, like taking away their male ego’s?

I don’t intend to do anything to harm another human being so please, I ask you not to harm me or each other.

We live in a world full of depression. Nobody is safe; it can happen to anyone. Most people who read this will have been through some form before.

It doesn’t just apply to transsexuals, but part of my depression stemmed from the way people (men) wanted me to live.

Because of the way I appeared to them they could not accept the way I felt inside. This applied to people in responsibility; council, church, even the medical doctors.

These people we can educate as well as those in society, if we show an understanding for the way they feel about themselves and give them an idea of what it feels like to get snide remarks and laughter when you walk down the street.

This includes educating young people and children. They follow what their peers do. Their parents inform them that we are weird but I don’t class myself that way at all.

I have a son of my own (like many transsexual people do) and would not harm a hair on his head. I wouldn’t tell my son that a person is weird. I would try to explain what transsexual means and hopefully you would do likewise.

There is no point in explaining the medical terms as these need only apply to those in the medical profession so, instead, I will put it into words that I think you can all understand:

To be transsexual and survive is one of the most traumatic situations a person can be in.

It causes incredible isolation, coupled with justifiable fears of rejection and ridicule. During sex reassignment, the individual has no choice but to find a path through society and build up their own inner strength.

There is no point in other people telling us that we have to accept our body as it is “for now”. If we could do that then we wouldn’t be transsexual.

Such suggestions are made with good intent but are useless and leave the sufferer feeling that nobody understands. They cannot switch on or off their identity, perhaps only those in the situation can wholly comprehend this, as it is difficult to explain.

Transsexual people do not act as members of the apparently opposite sex; they are members of that sex psychologically. It is not that the individual has to learn new habits and mannerisms; rather they have to un-learn those ingrained by the wrong peer group and the effect of societal pressures from the past and the present.

In truth transsexualism is a disability (society makes it so) .Like many others the condition may render the sufferer transiently unemployable for a time or be lonely and insecure. Many transsexual people spend decades trying to suppress the effects of the syndrome which increase exponentially whilst untreated.

By the time they begin to seek professional help they are likely to have reached a stage where they feel suicidal or have no self respect.

Don’t worry if the local thugs offer to set about you? If it happens report them to the law; it is on our side.

What others think is eclipsed by what the person themselves think; everyone deserves self respect.

So could I please ask you to treat us as the women we are inside and try to appear out with? Don’t join the bandwagon and slur insults or abuse our way. I would like to say it won’t happen to your child, or grandchild or any member of your social circle but it could. No matter how much you try to stop it, you can’t. I hope some day it can be recognised at birth so that others don’t have to suffer like I have and others like me.

It is not just transsexuals, but anybody society classes as different and that might include you.

We all deserve a good life in this world and people like me have gone through more hardships than most. We don’t look for self pity or for sympathy of any kind. All we ask is that you treat us as fellow human beings.

If you use common sense you must realise that at the end of the day if you continue to ridicule, reject and snigger in the street at people who are different it will be yourself who ends up being rejected by society.Depression is recognised as a mental condition but there are many things that can be done to help cure and relieve the condition.

First listen to the individual, treat them as an equal, respect their wishes, don’t outcast them because you think they are totally different from you; we are not.

Some people who go through depression have a better outlook on life; we have more compassion, understanding and kindness in our hearts. We hope that people don’t have to go through this, but those of us that do, ask society not to treat it with a stigma for we are not a threat to your life but mainly to our own.

According to statistical information approximately 20% of those individuals identified as transsexuals commit suicide. These individuals take their own lives not from dissatisfaction with themselves, but from the severe pressures brought upon them from within our society; from family, employers and unions, community, and ministries of established religions.

If, like me, you care for the human race and if you can help one person please do give them help; listen, care, love and respect. If you do these things you will make that person feel better but also you will make yourself a better person.

There are some of us who have very strong spiritual and Christian beliefs. We believe in God and he knows everything about us. He loves us and does not judge us like others try to do. He forgives our sins.

Not everybody believes in God, they have that choice and it’s not up to you or me to judge them, we can still love them and show kindness and care. The reason I bring up this subject is because I have been hurt by the church (those appointed by it). They judge me for my transsexuality. I am not going to use Gods word to counter their beliefs.

I will leave it to our Divine creator; as far as transsexuality is concerned my conscience is clear and I know that God will find me a church to worship in for he cares for us all.

I will leave you with these thoughts to think over:

“Life is so rapidly changing and so often uncertain that there is a great longing for a faith system that provides quick, easy, clear and unambiguous answers to all life’s questions and the only one who has these answers is God – pray for these answers.”

“Modern fundamentalist Christianity is mostly about controlling people’s beliefs and people’s behaviour. It is also about controlling God. We all (society) want to be able to explain why things have happened and why they didn’t; because, if we cannot explain them we are not in control of them and this can frighten us. Accept that there are things that happen in life that we might never have the answers to.”

“Our goal must be to make us never to make people feel religious, but rather to make them feel loved. We who have been touched by God’s grace must gracefully reach out to include others in the family of God.”

“A HUG is a warm embrace of closeness and friendship, and an acknowledgement of our shared human spirit.”

This HUG is for you

“A Hug expresses our care and appreciation for one another, and has a great feel good factor that goes beyond words.”

Please think these things over. Don’t just brush them aside because you feel I have no right to say them or to ask you to consider them because I am mentally ill. My nature is not to get on a soap box and preach to you but I can’t stand back and let others rule my life no matter what right they may feel they have.

Your fellow human being

Brenda

 

© Brenda 2004